Ways to stay inspired in Quarantine.
Isolation for some people can be very depressing. Is it because those people haven’t learned to sit in silence and embrace themselves ? I have always adored being alone in my room with my thoughts. I feel deeply that my thoughts are my friends and my feelings are my companions. The most crucial part of Quarantine is searching for your piece of happiness within your own four walls. Remember what it was like to play make believe ? Let the world be your stage and perform for your four walls. Nurture your fears, worries, childhood heartbreaks. Write love letters to the moon and fold them up and put them under your pillow. Or write a letter of thank yous to God, Mother Earth, a friend, a parent, or your future self. Reflect on all of your accomplishments and put on a record and dance freely in your room. Commit to finishing those books that have been on your shelf for ages. Hug your dog closely and with your touch show them how special they really are. Make your room your sanctuary. Your room is a womb, a cocoon. When the world feels as though it’s ending your room will hold you. You are blessed if you have a home, a family, a friend, unconditional love, water, food and your health. Our life is what we make of it. Isolation could either be a depressing slumber or it can be an awakening filled wonderland. Reach for the stars and please never give up on your dreams. The dream you had when you were little and when you still believed. Please live out that dream for that little you.
Lately I have been having the most vivid nightmares and I think so much of it stems from the fear of the unknown. In my book titled Emotional Overdose I talk in detail about the pain that dwells within my heart about the unknown. It will be out later this year. The unknown will always be what pains me. Where my anxiety stems from. I believe that dreams truly are the closest gateway to ones soul. I believe that if you learn how to dissect them and to analyze them you are gifted. Dreams are the most insightful psychologically, cinematic, in depth way to decode your heart and mind. Dreams are filled with symbolism. During this quarantine I encourage you to write down your dreams. Keep a dream log. Whether it be a dream app, a journal or notes in your phone. When a dream or nightmare moves you good or bad write it down. My dreams are prophecies and I am barely tapping into the power they have. They are little blessings that have tried to warn me about future experiences I would have to endure. Write dates down and every detail you can remember. Dreams are a crystal ball if you allow yourself to take the imagery to heart and seriously. I hope your dreams are filled with so much love and hope. Please remember that the beast within your dreams isn’t real.
The following is a short excerpt from my short story about dreams.
A catholic school girl ditches class and ends up in the Underworld. Made up of pastels and 6 eyed freaks. The tangerine monster wraps his tongue around her neck creating a noose. She is swallowed whole and makes a bed inside the belly of the beast. She sleeps without nightmares now. For she has looked into the eyes of her darkest fears.
In this time get to know your pet on a deep soul level. Take your dog on a walk and talk to them. Have a picnic with them in your backyard and give them a head massage. When I give my little dog V a head or neck massage I see him relax and it is so rewarding. I talk to him all the time and I tell him that I love him. Give your pet that long bath they are in need of. Make doggy treats that you think they would enjoy. Devote an hour a day to fully focusing on your pet and giving them a dose of the love they give you.
Love and light
-The girl who fell from the stars
The Joker: Movie Review
By: Starla Starshine
I feel deeply that in every lifetime I’d be a clown. Since I was tiny I was a clown. I
believe that all true performers are clowns. One of my greatest inspirations from
the time I was five was Lucille Ball. I love Lucy has been my sunshine on the
bluest days. Sammy Davis Jr. said “God wanted the world to laugh and he
invented you Lucy.” Thats all I have ever wanted to be for humanity. I remember
being in high school and feeling depressed. I would get through sixth period by
looking forward to when I got home. So that I could eat pizza and watch I Love
Lucy. I love her dearly as my Mother Clown. The people who know me best know
that I will sing and dance in public and I will talk in different accents to strangers
and that is my souls medicine. I am the eternal jokester. I find so little in life
pleasurable. But being silly and loud and free has always been my serenity.
Clowns are selfless. They will put on a mask and they will sing a song or dance
just so that you don’t have to feel the way they do inside. I don't think I have ever
known anything as poetic as that. Tragedy and comedy blend together like a
pastel day dream.
I adore very few modern day actors. Joaquin Phoenix is my favorite. His portrayal
in the newest Joker film is absolutely exquisite. I could watch him dance on
screen forever. Cinematically it is everything I long for in a film. He plays Arthur
Fleck a clown who dreams of dabbling in Stand up. Arthur has a laughing
condition. At times he breaks out in a maniac like laughter that he cannot control.
People think that he is laughing at them or having some kind of breakdown. It hits
home for me because my brother has a type of seizure that looks like he is
laughing intensely. It looks like he has just heard the funniest joke in his life but
really he is having a seizure. It has given me PTSD. I am so sensitive to him
laughing now. I see my mom also struggle with PTSD from witnessing his
laughing seizures. Something in his brain is set off and its like every emotion
comes out on his face at once. But he isn't laughing he is struggling. It is a very
hard thing to witness. I feel for Arthur walking around in the world with no one by
his side. All he has is a little card he holds up when the laughing is really bad. No
one to protect him or to be his voice when he cannot speak. The people in the
film aren't empathetic. They look at him like he's a freak. I will always be hyper
sensitive to the underdogs of society.
We as people have to treat the broken like they are a walking miracle. Because
they could've killed themselves and they didn’t. I heard Steve Jobs say something
about how once we are 25 we become guardians of The Earth. I believe that so
much. We are very responsible for the vibrations we give off. For the love that we
give. You can’t be an asshole all of your life. It’s time to grow up. To care about
who you are in a society that depends on love and kindness towards one another.
Compassion is sometimes all a human being is searching for. It is what Arthur
was craving most in life.
He struggles with mental health and the system doesn't do much to help him. He
is bullied the entire film and finally he snaps. He shoots his bully right in the
head. Who is to blame ? Is it his healthcare ? Is it his sick and deranged mother ?
Or is it all the different people who made him feel so small. Who made his
existence into a joke. When all he wanted was to be seen. I am repulsed by what
bullying does to people. Do better as people and treat people as sensitive souls
who… might be on the verge of losing it at any moment. Best film I’ve seen in
ages. His wardrobe, green hair and clown makeup is truly to die for. Joaquin
Phoenix dressed like a clown dancing on the verge of insanity.. it doesn't get
better than that.
Three years ago I was in an elevator at the Beverly Center with Elizabeth Moss. It was right before Handmaids Tale season 1 came out. Now it’s my favorite show and basically the only show I’ll re watch for fun. I’ve always been so fascinated with cults. Is it because I have never understood why anyone would believe anyone 100 percent ? I feel that I am so alpha that hardly anything in life could get me to submit fully. Cults and religions are made up of delusions and fear. Delusional sheep are god awful to be around (pun intended) I wonder what made these people so susceptible to being brainwashed ? What makes a person abandon everything they once knew and submit to someone else’s propaganda ? Charles Manson looked like someone’s creepy uncle waiting to molest you and call you his special girl. I’d understand like a little... if he looked like Jim Morrison and spoke of only peace and love and gentle poetic rebellion. But who would follow a Charles Manson ? A lost child wanting to belong ? The truth is the world is run by Charles Manson’s. They come in all different shapes and sizes. It’s not the “Devil” you have to be worried about. It is people all around us. People masquerading themselves as lovers, as dreamers, as politicians. From the time we are tiny we are taught to obey. But I’m here to remind the children and people in general to question everything. Question authority and why authority feels the need to demean your thoughts and ideas. Question “leaders”, question politicians, question the beliefs you have been conditioned at any age to believe. This does not mean become an extremist who hates one political party. This means let your brain bloom and do not let yourself be conditioned by ANYTHING. The media is a cult, politicians should always be questioned. Pastors, priests, bishops, saints should all be questioned. Do not become a sheep who is blind to freedom of thought and freedom of expression. Let your rebellion against society and the patriarchy be about love and not about revenge. Write a poem, sing a song, seek an asylum that helps you heal and does not manipulate you. In my book Emotional Overdose I write about a girl whose life was severely disturbed by a religious father who behaved like Jim Jones. The Handmaids Tale isn’t some crazy show that liberals and feminists created because they are crazy. It’s very much a true story that so many women are currently still living in, in 2019. Women aren’t free everywhere. They are still slaves in so many religions. They are still treated like second class citizens and they are the ones who are in pain. Be the June from Handmaids Tale in your own life and reach out and protect each other and look out for the children. She’s a beautiful fictional example of how we all should be. She is selfless and she is resilient and she understands what power she has to change the lives of so many women and children. Be like June. I adore Elizabeth Mosses portrayal of June Osbourne. I aspire to be more like her character.
Paragraph 1 is a brief explanation of why Starla spirals into madness. Here i mention the
medical terms for what she was experiencing. Such as Hypochondria, PTSD, Generalized
Anxiety Disorder, Panic Attacks, Insomnia and Back pains brought on by all of the above.
I give a brief mention of Starla’s brother “Sheridan” and his trials and Epilepsy Diagnoses.
Paragraph 2 I list some of the main characters that are the most cinematic and climactic.
Paragraph 2 is all about Starla’s 51/51 hold at the psych ward and rehab visits.
Paragraph 3 is all about the Birth of Starla. The moment A Star(La) is born. This is where
Starla will give her huge performance. This is the end of the film. Here we will create Starla’s
Disco for the Damned (a modern day version of studio 54 meets Rodney’s English Disco)
Rodney is the famous DJ who is iconic at K.R.O.Q. He is the DJ who first played Starla’s music
when she was 15. If we are lucky we can get him to be in the film. He was like a Dad to Starla.
He can introduce Starla just like he has introduced countless Rock Stars on stage. The
atmosphere will be the most happening spot, a place where all inhibitions are left at the door
and beautiful and weird looking hippy, Vampire, Tranny, muses unite. My dream feel for Starla’s
Disco for the Damned is a place where fairies and humans collide. They will all be “Starshine
children”. Like modern day flower children. Starla's Disco for The Damned is Starla’s own
club that births the ERA OF STARLA.
Starla Starshine is a singer and performer at the peak of her youth and rise of her career,
when everything comes crashing down due to a decade of emotional disturbances and
depression. Starla has been able to bottle her pain and mental illness up until her big brother
Sheridan is diagnosed with Epilepsy. This is the moment Starla descends into madness
because she can no longer pretend to be ok. Sheridan has also dealt with a decade of feeling ill
and having a weak immune system. He has spent all of high school in an out of the hospital. He
has been a medical anomaly up until his Gran Mal seizure. As Sheridan convulses on the floor
the light and spark in Starla’s life turns to darkness. For all Starla has ever known for comfort
besides her parents is her big brother Sheridan. Starla’s mental health reaches an all time low
when her Hypochondria and PTSD are combined. Starla lives in constant fear she will also
suffer from Epilepsy. Epilepsy is her biggest fear because it is the epitome of losing all control.
This is the start of level ten panic attacks and back pains brought on by extreme stress. She
spends the majority of her nights in hell or by the toilet vomiting because the physical pain
accompanied by the emotional pain is unbearable. Starla is 20 years old and she is witnessing
her big brothers demise along with her own. Starla and Sheridan like twins feel so deeply for
each other. When one is happy the other is happy. When one falls they both fall. The two spiral
together and Starla’s mother Maura runs from one room to the other trying to make sure one of
her children doesn’t die or give up. A mother is only as happy as her saddest child. With both
her children struggling to stay alive, Maura gives up her career and becomes a full time mom
and nurse to her children.
Starla spends her nights in her bathtub with excruciating back pain. Insomnia, Anxiety, PTSD
and Hypochondria are Starla’s world and only friends. She begins to isolate herself until she no
longer leaves her home. She remains in a heavily medicated world without dreams. Starla is in
permanent fight or flight mode. This is when Starla’s madness escalates and leads her to 51/50
hold, psych ward stays and rehab visits. This is where we are introduced to a motley crew of
beautifully, demented and broken characters. Like Ro the girl in love with the girl inside of her
head. Like Midge the lady with DID Dissociative Identity Disorder who suffers from alcoholism
and refuses to let go of the people, “the alters”, who live inside of her. Like Jane the girl who
grew up with a Jim Jones type father. The fanaticism and mentally disturbed side of religion and
control lead Jane to create her own reality. She created her own escape, in the form of a man
named Jim. A man, the love of her life, who only Jane can see. Like Warren and Peyote two
dream boats on a ship sailing to a psychedelic sunset that is nowhere near reality. We sail away
with these young people who have lives interrupted by an emotional overdose of feelings and
experiences. Here we see Starla navigating her own demons and attempting to stay sane even
though she is surrounded by people who have gone mad. Here we see the inner workings of
mental hospitals and the blurry lines between staff and patients. Starla’s only addiction is
escapism and here we see how that alone almost destroyed her. She begins to come down and
panic when the high of running away loses its thrill. The walls of the dreamy beach house begin
to close in on her and she realizes quickly nowhere on earth is as safe or as green as her
childhood home she runs away from.
Starla hitchhikes home. She writes and records an album called Starla’s Disco for the Damned.
It is her love letter to the broken. Starla is born. She is the living, breathing, human embodiment
of starlight. Starla performs her song Alive and gives a theatrical, moving performance. Sheridan
and Maura are in the audience. Starla and Sheridan look at one another and that is the last
frame of the film. That moment symbolizes the re brith of both character lives.
Torvad and Starla join forces to collaborate on a Podcast dedicated to all things entertainment. While also shedding a light on mental health struggles and Epilepsy awareness. The witty banter of these two siblings is what sets them apart from others. They are extreme opposites who share the same love for being one another’s greatest and life longest friend. Torvad is a gentle introvert with a love for terrible films and gaming. Starla is an in your face, extrovert who is a lover of dramas and art films. Torvad suffers from epilepsy and Starla suffers for him. When one of them is down they are both down. This podcast is a celebration of life. When Torvad was in a coma for ten days Starla sang to him. She told him to wake up because it was only a bad dream. She said she would be waiting for him. This podcast is for all of the broken hearted people who are now waking up from a long terrible dream. The dream is now.
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